It’s not what you say you want, it’s what you do.
Benjamin Karney and Thomas Bradbury are a dynamic duo. These UCLA professors study what makes successful marriages last by following 172 married couples over the first 11 years of marriage. For example, they recently found that just professing (and believing) you are committed to your relationship doesn’t do much to help your relationship. Your actual behavior matters much more; can you get past your immediate personal interests to do the right thing for your relationship? They have been interviewed recently about these findings, and I thought this would be an especially fun interview to share. The professors even role-play a successful conflict discussion. Enjoy! 89.3 KPCC: Parenting on the Edge: New marriage study looks at what keeps people together
The interview itself was a pretty general overview, so here is the reference to the actual article:
Stability and change in the first 10 years of marriage: Does commitment confer benefits beyond the effects of satisfaction? Schoebi, Dominik;Karney, Benjamin R.;Bradbury, Thomas N. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Nov 21 , 2011, No Pagination Specified. doi: 10.1037/a002629
I wanted to share the link right away, but I'll summarize some of the key points of the article next week!